Back in June, after signing on the dotted line to accept the appointment from United World Mission to begin the journey that would ultimately involve packing up our family and moving across the Atlantic to Senegal, West Africa, we received several words of encouragement and warning to expect an attack from the evil one who would seek to distract us from our goal.

“Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.” I Peter 5:8

So we braced ourselves for the full frontal attack of the roaring lion charging toward us with teeth barred and snarling. What major trial or test would he use to try to derail us from our mission?!

What I failed to prepare for and be watchful of was the crouching lion patiently circling in the tall grass waiting for me to be lulled into an exhausted stupor by life’s busyness. After I wore my defenses down through an endless cycle of staying up late to have ‘me’ time after the constant hum of activity from two young kids, sleeping in late and missing my small window of opportunity to have quiet time with God before the aforementioned kids woke up, eating carb-heavy junk food and drinking caffeine by the mug full to ‘energize’ my foggy and exhausted brain, the enemy quietly snuck up and began the subtle attack of filling my mind with doubts and fear. The more doubts that entered, the more I buried myself in daily duties and mindless entertainment. If I didn’t think about the uncomfortableness of this new journey then I could ‘relax’ and get energized for the work ahead. I would get back into a routine ‘tomorrow’, but today would be all about Me.

So here I sit, two months after signing on that dotted line, feeling exhausted, inadequate and fearful…exactly where the enemy wants me to be so that I will be paralyzed with doubts. It is in this moment of weakness and brokenness, however, that God is able to shake me out of my haze and remind me that “I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:13). The emphasis in this scripture is not on ‘I can do’ but rather on ‘through Christ.’

Psalm 23:2-3

“He lets me rest in green meadows; he leads me beside peaceful streams. He renews my strength. He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to his name.”

It is only by building up my spiritual defenses through time reading the Word and being in God’s presence that I will find the true rest and renewal that I need to carry out the calling on my life as a wife, mom, daughter, friend, and child of God.

Image courtesy of Greg Hewgill and can be found on Flickr.